Anxiety Insomniac

In the period of the last 7 hours I have had 4 different trips to my bathroom to cut. That is ridiculous. I'm beyond tired, high on painkillers/sleeping aids, can't stop my constant anxiety attacks, & I my legs are sore.
I have a therapy appointment in five hours.... I'm wondering if I should go. My anxiety is so bad.... All I've been doing is stuffing my face & cutcutcutcutting. :|
I've completely stopped going to school, haven't even had an attempt at my make-up homework. That damn fact might get me sent back to placement.... that in itself skyrockets my anxiety. FML!

I feel like shit

No school because of snow. This social-worker-woman will be talking to HER (mother) tomorrow............ only HER. I've been biting every bit of fingernail that I have off. I look like shit... my eating habits want to skyrocket + explode from this stress + anxiety, but since I've actually been around people (esp. males) lately my restricting, self-destructive, hateful, punishing side has come out and doesn't want me to eat a damn thing............ Mia when I'm alone, then Ana when I'm in times of dealing with others. I hate people. I want to die........ My anxiety's been o.k., better lately, really, but my depression has been terrible. I get so pissed because I don't want to do anything & the very, very few things I could stand to do BEFORE I went away to placement no longer work for me... I think I'm losing my mind. Nothing is holding any real interest for me & I have felt this low before but not for this long, this many consecutive days. I've been thinking of cutting just to feel something, so I'm not numb, but that seems so.... wrong...... I have, though, taken to taking pills. Nothing bad, I do like to feel my heart race though.... Makes me feel like an actual being, not a fat, doughy, stupid, piece of shit blob :(

Are there people out there who cut at school?

Oh, I love to. I'm starting back at school again and- ignoring the icky, extreme, oh-so self-destructive feeling- I adore cutting in the bathroom......... Taking my purse in (which I never use any other times) the bathroom, locking the stall, waiting before homeroom starts............ with all those pink-lipped, tanned, thin, preppy, clear-skin chicks gossiping and giggling right next to me with only a bathroom stall door separating us. Tomorrow's my first day going back since being at placement.......... eck. I enjoy the learning/topics (I'm a TOTAL NERD & GEEK) , I simply hate my anxiety problems with the fuckin' people..... AND my only SECOND meeting with this social worker "family" helping person is going to be on Tuesday at my school......... I have no idea what my classes are........... I'd just love to converse with another cutter that has such social problems at school........