Gym tomorrow!

So, my gym membership will officially begin tomorrow - time to work my ass off. Recent cutting has been really bad. I weigh 119 now.... boo. Also, bingeing + purgeing has been up recently..... bleh. More lay-tuh.

Eating.......

.....pasta and such - great. Tomorrow there's a luh-huh-huhvely meeting set up with a CPS social worker, mother, Monica (sister) & myself. Isn't that great? &, once again, started cutting. New place, though. Le sigh, + thinspo:

Boring.....

Coffee w/ a tsp. of cocoa + fake sugar is quite delicious..... 5 or less of fat calories w/ the raw cocoa powder, but that was consumed over my competing chocolate-chip cookies....

thinspo 3's 16-25,

Pics

Thinspo pic #'s 11-15:

fanfuckintastic

Why is it all these pics I see of hopeful-anamias actually could pass without doing it? They all have nice butts + hips , & they actually have something to fill out their bra with. HUGE amounts to fill their bras out with! I don't have that, but if I did I'd sure not give a flying fuck about being skinny. I'd be heavier, but still attractive & I wouldn't need to try. This medium-weight-and-no-curves body is hell......

Pics

Thinspo, #'s 1-10:

Placement

I have been in placement for 2 months - November 10th, Tuesday 2009 - January 9th, Saturday 2010. Now, with thanks to my household influence, it has taken ridiculously little persuasion to sign me out of my placement, even though it was my initiative that first go me in there. I'd been in a adolescent mental-health hospital before then - October 15th, Thursday 2009 - November 10th, Tuesday 2009. This is where my self-harming dramatically lessened & my eating habits quickly mutated. I am a vegan. Allow me to shed light on what a vegan/what veganism is:
http://www.vrg.org/nutshell/vegan/htm
Basically, a vegetarian does not eat meat. 'Kay? A vegan, who also eats no meat, excludes any + all animal products - eggs or dairy - from their diet. So, if I only eat celery why am I involved in this? Well, if the only-eating-celery party were true I wouldn't need to be on here. However, some basic households items I CAN eat are peanut butter, chips, fries, breads, nuts, Earth Balance 'butter', oils, rice, pasta, cereals, soy/almond/rice/coconut/hemp/lactose milk. I can also have pre-made vegan foods from these brands, & FYI, these things are not overly-priced + found in the deepest, darkest corner of health foods stores. They are found in my 5-minutes away Kroger's, in my small town of 20,000 inhabitants-
http://www.amyskitchen.com
http://lightlife.com
http://tofutti.com
http://turtlemountain.com
http://newmansown.com
http://ling-ling.com
http://tastethedream.com
http://chocolatebar.com
http://momsbestnaturals.com

Those are the ones that I can think of off the top of my head. Check out the products nutrition information & get back to me if you think veggie people can not intake a ton of calories.
So, late weighing was 111 lbs + height is 5'2, BMI = 20.3 (http://nhlbisupport.com) According to the site, I must be 101 lbs. to be considered 'underweight'. Bring it.