My problem

is that I'm way too good at being a fatty. New fucking commitment- go one fucking week with no sweet/salty junk food. That in itself will be a huge accomplishment for me.
:\ I've kind of gotten side tracked on being thin. Honestly, I can't ever remember being skinny; always fat. My mother cramming food down my throat instead of anything even closely resembling affection or normal human emotion. Foodfoodfood. That's it. This week, if I can go 7 damn days with no crap food (which, just having to set this goal is pathetic & proves my fatass mind-set, since people who actually HAVE willpower set a goal for twice as long to eat nothing and drink only water), I can f'in binge on veggies that add up to 5 billion calories. Hell, I can gain some pounds (ugh!), I'll try anyway just to finally rid myself of these horrible, weak-minded, pathetic cravings for weakness.
Also, I think everyone is now officially off of my back..... they don't think I cut or purge which is good :)
Alsoalso, I've gotten rid of yet another therapist. I'm too damn picky... :(

Calorie update ^_^

1 hr + 17 minutes at the gym gave me a 846 total of calories burnt. I purged once today after eating pasta and i guess I only partially purged up a little bag of potato chips. Things I've kept down though are cereal w/ almond milk for breakfast & my grapes I had just now. I was wondering if anyone knows if caffeine pills will promote weight loss for me? I'm curious about that, since I had seen them in the store today...........
My recent cuts have been doing a little more bleeding than usual. I've been cutting on my knee so every time that I move, walk, bend, etc., it opens & re-opens & re-opens the cut, so it'll start bleeding once again. Nothing really bad, though.
Misc. - I'm trying to get a other kitty into this house, 'cause I wanna + I really want that pasta upstairs :) I could always purge it + I need a shower & some music. Type later.