yesterday cal to-tal

1920- no, not a history lesson. 1,920 calories. This is, btw, me TRYING to restrict. OIknow I'm bad at it.

cals

2710, purged a good deal of a 5-600 calorie chunk of this.....
my depression is bad right now..... and already after waking up just >10 minutes ago, I have 340 for today's count.... grATE. Great. Yeah, I know how to properly spell.

dec. 26th calories

not including a dozen, dozen + 1/2 '0-cal' pops....
3070 calories 0_o I managed to throw up 90%+ of about 1,200-1,300 portion of the crap I ate yesterday....

Wow I decided to post.

Kay. I'm a loser. I am. I am a loser. You shouldn't read this, you don't have to read this,
I'm sorry you've read anything by me. Sorry. TL;don't-feel-like-typing-everything: Have not properly gone to school since spring of 2006. I've tried a few times, failfailfailIfuckingFAILED, & I'm now going back again. I am giving myself 0 choice but to go back.So I'll be going. I might kill myself :/ I've been thinking about that a lot lately & I don't actually WANT to. I'm just very depressed. More so than usual & this lets-interact-with-people-at-school-soon is just killing me. & my physical/visual/body insecurities come out 10fold when I have to be around people. The likelihood of being able to even rarely purge + get away w/ it is small so I have to 'switch' from my usual constant-binge and then eat 0 the rest of the time to actually just going Ana with all of it. No way I'm going to get fatter once school starts for me, only smaller. Can't get smaller with bingeing unless I purge & since doing that at this time is nil' happenins' then I'll just have to try to eat absolutely nothing most of the time and actually workout...... I really need to get a job... -_- kill me.

I'm 16 now :P hoo-rahhhhhh.

Dude pics.... perhaps male thinspo later some time??

Did I ever say that I had -very- odd taste?






































Did I?

Ok, fine.

I haven't been on here (mostly) due to my ever-increasing and/or rollercoastering depression. Also- because I haven't gotten a scale (yeah, that's not an excuse to be a fatass!) / I've been having a never-ending sweet (FATASS) tooth to deal with..... fuck me. I feel like posting sexy guys..... I'll do that in a bit.

thinspo, of course. (4/4)